I have a kid who truly loves playing soccer. There is a long list of amazing byproducts of this, including great friendships (for the kid and for me!) and learning important life skills and big life lessons (yes, again, for both us).

If I’m honest, there is also a short list of minor annoyances that have resulted from it.

Most of those are obvious: stinky cleats, missing shin pad sleeves, an ever evolving rotation of lost water bottles…There is also a not so well known one. Top of this list is something that nobody warned me about and I would never have guessed was “a thing.”

Apparently, kids who are (healthily?) obsessed with this beautiful game like to dribble a soccer ball around the house and try to surprise attack a parent – or truthfully anyone or thing, including the dog – by stealthily getting the ball between someone’s legs at inopportune times. This can happen pretty much anywhere but seems to occur most often to me while I’m cooking or doing dishes. I’ve learned (see aforementioned great friendships) that this is going on in other households as well. It is an actual thing! So I ask:

DOES NUTMEG REALLY BELONG IN THE KITCHEN?!?

I don’t actually have an answer for this. But it brought me relief and laughter to learn that I am not alone in my struggle to stand with feet at just the right defending angle and distance apart so as not to get exposed while at the oven or sink.

Nutmeg. ‘Tis the season…